Using the 80/20 Rule to Clarify What Matters Most
🧭 INSPIRE
When Courage Feels Overwhelming
I was recently talking with a group of highly respected leaders and, as we were reflecting on where we were in our lives and leadership, one person shared something that feels all too common among high achievers.
She said she felt overwhelmed, stretched thin, and unsure where to begin if she wanted to show up with more courage and vulnerability, both professionally and personally.
She is someone who cares deeply. She wants to do well. She wants to be there for everyone. And like so many high-capacity leaders, she carries a quiet belief that she needs to be all things to all people.
When she asked, “Where do I even start?” I realized I didn’t have an answer to give her.
But someone in the group did have an impactful question.
How do you define success right now?
Not in theory. Not in a job description. But in your lived experience.
When do you actually feel successful at the end of a day or a week?
That question shifted the conversation. We began talking about her tasks, her priorities, and where her energy was going. And as we talked, one idea kept rising to the surface… Pareto’s Principle, often called the 80/20 Rule.
The idea is simple. Roughly 80 percent of results come from 20 percent of effort.
What if that principle applies not only to business or productivity, but to leadership and life?
What if courage doesn’t begin with doing more, but with choosing more intentionally?
🔍 CLARIFY
The 20 Percent That Matters Most
So many leaders live in the exhausting middle of everything.
😓 Trying to meet every expectation
😓 Trying to respond to every need
😓 Trying not to disappoint anyone
But courage and vulnerability rarely emerge from overload. They emerge from clarity.
The 80/20 Rule invites a different kind of reflection.
Instead of asking,
🛑 What else should I add?
It asks,
🟢 What actually matters most?
Here are a few ways this can look in practice.
1. In Your Work
Consider the work you do in a typical week.
Which 20 percent of your efforts create 80 percent of your impact?
Which conversations, projects, or moments make you think, That made a difference?
And which tasks consume energy without creating much meaning or momentum?
Not everything can be eliminated, but some things can be delegated, delayed, or done with less emotional weight.
2. In Your Relationships
Which relationships bring life, growth, and belonging? Which ones support your core values?
And where are you overextending out of habit, guilt, or a sense of obligation?
It’s often said that you become like the five people you spend the most time with.
Your inner circle is a powerful leverage point. Who you invest in, and where you spend your limited time and energy, deserves real intentionality.
Courage sometimes looks like tending deeply to fewer connections rather than scattering yourself thin across many.
3. In Your Energy and Well-being
What small practices give you a disproportionate return?
A walk. A quiet morning ritual. Writing. Prayer. Exercise. Laughter. Stillness.
And what drains you but doesn’t truly move anything forward?
The 20 percent is often quieter than we expect, but it is also truer.
4. In Your Definition of Success
If you were honest, what 20 percent of your week makes you feel aligned with who you want to be?
Not impressive. Not busy. Aligned.
Success is not the accumulation of responsibilities. It is the experience of meaning.
🌀 AMPLIFY
Courage Through Focus
My friend thought the answer to her “How do I show up with courage?” had some elusive, big answer.
A bold conversation. A dramatic change. A visible act of vulnerability.
But what if courage begins with something much smaller?
💪 With deciding what deserves your best energy… and, just as importantly, what does not.
💪 With admitting you cannot be everything to everyone.
💪 With choosing to invest in the few things that truly reflect your values.
This is not about doing less for the sake of doing less. It is about doing what matters most with greater intention and presence.
Vulnerability sounds like:
👐 “This is what success looks like for me right now.”
👐 “These are the places I will say yes.”
👐 “These are the places I need to let go.”
👐 “Here is where I will intentionally be less than great.”
When we focus on the 20 percent that gives us 80 percent of what we want and value, clarity replaces chaos. And courage feels possible again.
If this reflection resonates, you don’t need a life overhaul.
You only need a way to pause, notice, and choose.
Below is a simple reflection tool I’ve been using myself and with leaders who want to reconnect with what truly matters.
There’s no right way to complete it. Take your time. Let clarity emerge.
This is one small way to let courage begin with focus.
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